Monday, April 1, 2013

Well, Hot Damn, Mother Fuckers, We're In Business.

Hi there. Welcome to, uh, this here blog thingie. I do hope you enjoy your stay. You can call me Enid. Nice to meet you.

It's probably going to be disorganized around here for a bit. I don't know what I'm doing. My thoughts are sort of everywhere. But I feel obligated to, like, officially introduce myself. Or something. Or, I guess, what? State the purpose of this bloggity thing? Yeah, that's it.

Stop! You might not want to sit there. God knows that pile of laundry is comfy, the cats sure think so, but it's dirty. What? No, I don't remember the last time I've done laundry. Shut up.

Yes, I do know I have, like, 73 unanswered emails. Why are you going through my computer? I also have 24 voice mails that I've yet to listen to. I'm too busy. Taking naps. And no, I don't remember the last time I cleaned the kitchen. Stop looking at all those dirty dishes. Yes, I know they're not going to wash themselves. Ask me if I care right now. Go on, ask me. Do I care right now? NO. NO, as a matter of fact, I could not care less about those damn dishes.

When's the last time I took a comb to my hair? My God, you ask a lot of questions. I brushed my damn teeth today, do you realize how much effort that took?

Now hush up and listen.

Fuck. I forgot what I was going to say.

So. Yeah. I'm Enid. The last few months of my life have been... rough. Lots of bad things happened. Had a hard time dealing. Fell into a big scary black hole.

I felt very, very alone.

Now, I have a strong urge to write. To share my experiences or something. Shit. That sounds cheesy, doesn't it? Whatever.

I guess I got to the point where I simply felt so fucking alone, that I realized that others have felt, or are feeling, or will feel that same dark loneliness. And the thought of someone else going through that, well, it kind of broke my heart even more than it was already broken.

So I guess my point is, if even one person reads this, and feels a bit less of a freak, a bit less alone, feels even a small ray of hope that they're not the only one that hurts like this and that makes it a bit better, well, then... it'll be worth it.

Depression sucks. I've delt with it for most of my life. For the past few years I think I've managed to be, or appear to be, a functional human being. It was exhausting. I was a barely functional depressed person. And several months ago, I started to fall apart. Really fall apart.

But I think I'm starting to crawl out the hole.

I think.

I hope.

So! Hi! Welcome, nice to meet you and all that jazz. Obviously, this blog will be all hearts and rainbows and I love unicorns who prance across the fluffy clouds and glitter and rainbows again and hearts and stars and shit. Yeah. All that.

But seriously, I'm glad you're here.

No comments:

Post a Comment