Thursday, April 11, 2013

ALL THE DAMN THINGS. Also, Chickens!

I don't know and can't decide if I want to vent all over this Blog Thing or tend to make it habit to sort of reign that shit in. So today, I'm just going to go with the attitude and decision of: "Fuck It." Because oh my God I NEED that attitude today. I need the FUCK IT ALL attitude if I am going to make it through today in one piece.

My head is swimming today. So many things. Have to do all the things. Oh my God too many things. Was in The Black Deep Hole for months and let everything go but now ALL the things left undone are SCREAMING all at once because OMG EVERYTHING ALL THE THINGS NEED MY ATTENTION RIGHT NOW. Noisy bastards.

I swear to fucking God, have I been cursed? The central air stopped working yesterday. Now my fridge is not working. Outside hose not working. WHAT ELSE WILL BREAK NEXT. HEY, THINGS. THINGS BEHAVE. STOP BREAKING. My garage door, half of it fell off. I am not kidding. Awesome. Now any creatures can come and go as they please. I'll have a raccoon nesting in the seat of the tractor next time I go to cut grass. Excellent. WINNING.

Seriously, it's really starting to feel like I need to fucking walk around the house throwing salt over my shoulder and burning sage and swinging shrunken heads and howling at the Wolf Gods and the Cheetah Gods to lift The Curse That Has Settled Upon My House and chant and sing naked under a full moon and do stuff with crystals and do whatever one does with chicken feet although that part I'm not really serious about because I'd prefer the chickens keep their feet.

Seriously, the chickens need to keep their feet. Chickens are nice. I like chickens. Cool? Ok then.

Here. I drew you another silly picture. The chicken looks perplexed since it's so damn hot in here. And my brain is too busy spinning to correctly spell the word "fridge." Whatever. Shut up. I love you. Smooches!

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